seinfelt:

Jerry writes ten times more jokes than he ever tells, and realizes that this could be an additional revenue stream. When he publishes “The Uncensored Jerry Seinfeld,” however, his creativity dries up, and he’s unable to write any new material. Elaine insists on bringing him to cocktail parties as…

The Well

seinfelt:

Elaine says, “Well, well, well!”

Kramer says, “Well, well, well!”

Jerry says, “Well, well, well!”

George says, “Well! Well! Well!”

The Other Life

seinfelt:

Jerry tries to pull a reversal and slide full-force into Kramer’s apartment for once, but is startled to find two other strangers — a man and a woman — hanging out there as well. Kramer explains that the woman is an ex-girlfriend with whom he remained friendly after a breakup years ago, and the man — a stout, balding fellow — is a friend from childhood.

"You… you have your own George?" asks Jerry, astonished. "And your own Elaine?"

"Who are George and Elaine?" asks Kramer.

seinfelt:

The Soup Nazi, after hearing many recommendations, attends one of Jerry’s stand-up shows, without realizing that it is Jerry who he is seeing. When Jerry sees him in the audience, he makes him go through a humiliating series of ridiculous maneuvers before he is “allowed” to sit back down. Kramer…

seinfelt:

Kramer accidentally slams a door in Elaine’s face, causing her to break her nose, and she calls Kramer “a societal evil.” Kramer takes the remark very personally, and resolves to become a force for good by learning how to draw police sketches. He gets Jerry to help him practice by forcing him…

seinfelt:

When a fly enters Jerry’s apartment at the same time Kramer slides in, the resulting Cosmo/insect combination, dubbed Kramerfly, undergoes a long, painful metamorphosis into a decomposing yet psychotic pile of flesh. Long after Kramerfly’s death, George and Jerry remain too scared to leave,…

seinfelt:

Unhappy with his current girlfriend’s subpar hygiene but too lazy to dump her, George tries to change her behavior through subtle manipulation. He dumps garbage in her living room, smears her with unpleasant aromas overnight to increase her impetus to shower, and makes her clothing downright…

tattle-crime:

cleolinda:

amatteroftastepodcast:

hidingfromthespotlight:

drhanniballecter:

youonlyloseorgans:

Who needs a fucking book on why cannibalism is wrong



could you imagine will leaving this in glaringly obvious places for hannibal to see

^ I want this so bad.



Local library, you disappoint me. We don’t have ANY books like these.

tattle-crime:

cleolinda:

amatteroftastepodcast:

hidingfromthespotlight:

drhanniballecter:

youonlyloseorgans:

Who needs a fucking book on why cannibalism is wrong

could you imagine will leaving this in glaringly obvious places for hannibal to see

^ I want this so bad.

Local library, you disappoint me. We don’t have ANY books like these.

(via advancedpotions)

cartoonhangover:

#WanderingWarrior
NYC peeps, stay tuned, we’ll be letting you know our location to pick up these FREE Bee and PuppyCat aprons! Who wants them?!
Follow our Instagram to stay tuned!

cartoonhangover:

#WanderingWarrior

NYC peeps, stay tuned, we’ll be letting you know our location to pick up these FREE Bee and PuppyCat aprons! Who wants them?!

Follow our Instagram to stay tuned!

(via beeandpuppycat)

exigetspersonal:

ask-blumedic:

exigetspersonal:

catbountry:

#I’m so tired

My husband insisted I send him that picture, refused to let me look at his screen for half an hour and then… yeah.I am so sorry

Oh hey look it’s me

IT HAS RETURNED

exigetspersonal:

ask-blumedic:

exigetspersonal:

catbountry:



My husband insisted I send him that picture, refused to let me look at his screen for half an hour and then… yeah.

I am so sorry

Oh hey look it’s me

IT HAS RETURNED